Reading the full Emily Oster "Pandemic Amnesty" piece in Vocal Fry (valley girl) voice
And a huge thanks to all new subscribers -- I made you a video on Rumble to show my gratitude!
Ok, I used to do a little theater. Always wanted to be on SNL. So I have a few satirical characters under my belt, Svetlana Louise Reynolds (she was a periscope I filmed from the cold tundras of Moscow — really, St Paul, Minnesota — after twitter suspended me for a being Russian bot in 2018) and the Deep State Valley Girl who helps orchestrate coup d’etats from time to time.
So after the deep dive communication analysis of Emily Oster’s call for Pandemic Amnesty I published the other day got such great feedback from you guys, and we generally all agreed she was some variety of mean girl, I had to find out (my curiosity compelled me to see!!) if she had up-talk and vocal creak (aka vocal fry, a la Kim Kardashian) and so I looked her up on youtube. Sure enough, you can hear both vocal fry (mild) and up talk (persistent) so I went back to the full essay in the Atlantic and started imagining her reading it out loud as a press release, Jen Psaki style. And decided, I would forever regret not bringing this vision to life if I just let the idea sit in the “funny sketch ideas” shoebox in my mind, so it’s now on Rumble since youtube would definitely give me a strike for pandemic-election-interference. (My impression is a much more sinister version of her than the version I found on the internet. As mentioned, parts of the op-ed seem to have been written by people who are a lot higher up on the totem pole than the Professor so I had fun with making her seem as Machiavellian as possible.)
So without further ado, here’s my valley [mean] girl impression of the good professor. 2 fun bloopers are at the end.
And a HUGE shout out to substack writer Chris Bray who shared my original communication analysis with his subscribers!! Thank you!
ALSO, a tiny bit of housekeeping: sending emails from substack straight to spam or junkmail is the new censorship/shadowban by yahoo/gmail. So if you add email@example.com to your contacts, you will always get the emails when a new post is up.
Thank you for reading, dear substack subscribers!!
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Reconn video below:
Sarah even got the bastardization of Santayana's famous quote perfectly. I wouldnt expect Prof. Emily Oster to say it any other way: incorrectly, of course.
“Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it.” – George Santayana, The Life of Reason, 1905.
I don't follow Emily Oster, but I think you nailed her. Nice job.
And it's not really those who forget history who are doomed to repeat it. It's those who fail to *understand* history who are doomed to repeat it. "Pandemic amnesty" virtually guarantees that none of worst offenders will be forced to understand and reckon with history, meaning the damage their illogical, non-scientific, ego-driven dictates caused. That is why if the rest of us don't want to suffer the same thing over again, we will never let them forget it.